Love & Dating

No More Cookies

If you see free cookies at the store, there is an 87% chance that you are going to take one and not think twice about it. Now imagine if you saw those same free cookies and they were next to a jar of pretty pink cookies that cost 5 dollars. You may eat the free cookies but you will be wondering what’s oh so special about those cookies since they cost 5 dollars, and eventually you will pay the extra. This same scenario goes for our own “cookies”. Most women in this generation are forgetting the value of their cookies, giving them away to every stranger that seems like a good fit. No standards, just a good meal and conversation. Sometimes there isn’t even a meal in sight lol. It’s a shame right.

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As women, we must remember we hold the power in almost all situations. The easier we make it, the harder it is for us in the end. When you give away your power, you allow yourself to be treated any kind of way. For some reason, those of us with vaginas have emotions. Those emotions brew into a storm after your first time having sex with someone. So if they don’t call or text, your mind is wondering. If they like too many pictures on Instagram of other girls, you are wondering if they are sleeping with her, the list goes on. However, if you give yourself more control by holding out a little longer maybe you will feel better about the decisions you make in the future.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. You see half of the ig models “winning” after giving it up so soon or some girls getting married to dudes they had sex with on the first night. I get it, this isn’t a guaranteed success, but more of an encouragement for learning to set standards for yourself by choosing when to sleep with someone.

First things first, everybody doesn’t deserve those cookies. These dudes don’t have to put in any work nowadays to get some girl to “pull up” and give him some. Make sure you are getting dates ladies! Not meeting up at bars, no Netflix and chills, no going to his homeboy’s house, etc. You need to be in a semi intimate setting where you can actually have a conversations, ex: meeting at Starbucks for coffee, dinner, parks, etc. No date, No cake. Phone conversations are extremely important. If all you get is texts convos, call him simply that, a text buddy. Plain and simple. If he can’t pick up the phone, you shouldn’t pick up your keys to go see him.

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Consistency is key. Does he call back when he says he will? Does he keep his word when making dates? Does he continuously put forth effort? This will show you if you are at least a priority to him. When dudes are genuinely interested, they will set times and pick dates. You won’t be left hanging.

Now if you have made it thus far and went out on a FEW dates, ask yourself would you be ok if you sleep with him and it doesn’t work out?  Are you ok with seeing him out on another date with someone else? If he doesn’t hit you up for a few days are you going to be calm? If you can honestly say you feel like you will not regret it if things don’t go as planned, smooth you may proceed with the panty drop. If you aren’t sure, take your time, do not worry about him dealing with someone else while he’s dating you. Even if he is sleeping with someone else, you are getting the date’s bruh. You can walk away and say you didn’t give him anything. Perfect ending.

This doesn’t apply if you are only looking for fun but if you want something serious, trying keeping the cookies in the jar for a while.

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