Love & Dating

Singled Out

Career Lit, Faith Lit, House Lit, Car Lit, whole life basically lit but love ain’t lit at all. As a matter of fact love is dim and looking real nonexistent at this point in time. Your family is nagging you about when you’re going to bring someone around but you can’t even find someone worth entertaining. Instagram makes it ten times worse because all you see is #relationshipgoals and baecation pics making you feel like you haven’t achieved the ultimate goal. Whether we realize it or not, we are fine tuned to want this fairy tale of love and marriage and we find ourselves hell bent on achieving this goal by any means necessary. Some women settle for anything that checks off their list.

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Some settle to be the side piece, some get a sponsor, or anything that makes them feel less lonely in the morning. Oh don’t let you be pushing 30! I’m sure your mind is running a marathon on how you can get to have these kids and a husband and be a soccer mom in enough time to prove you aren’t a lost cause. As a single, 29 yr old woman, with almost all of the boxes checked except love, I’m here to tell you to just breathe. I honestly thought life was over being single for so long. Constantly being dateless at company functions or friends gatherings and even just watching my friends get in relationships faster than I can tie my shoes, I felt hopeless. Like what is wrong with me. But one day it clicked maybe it is me, but not in the pity party kind of way. But more of, What am I doing to help the situation? Here are a few things to consider while in your single season.

  1. Do you dress the way you feel?

Do you look at others and say damn I wish I could wear that? If so, go buy it. Go buy that pencil skirt and blouse and jazz it up at the office. I used to be the only female dressed up at work, did I care? Nope. You know why, because I loved how I felt. I felt powerful and like I owned the building and I put forth my best effort at work too. Look good feel good.

  1. Are you doing things you love?

You can’t expect the love of your life to break into your house. Go to your favorite concert, go to that restaurant you’ve always wanted to try, do things you love and don’t wait around. Who knows you may find someone who loves those things too.

  1. Do you know who you are?

Take time to analyze yourself. What do you want from life, what have you achieved and what can you do to meet your goals? Do you have a life that you are happy with, do you know what you hate and love? These are all questions you should ask yourself.

  1. Learn!

It’s always good to gain knowledge in your spare time. Read a book, teach yourself how to cook, learn a new skill. While you are in your single season, be the best you that you can be. Nobody wants a woman who can’t cook or be productive lol.

  1. What type of woman or person do you want to be?

Ultimately, do you even know what type of girlfriend or wife you want to be? What expectations do you have of yourself? You can’t expect more of someone else than you are willing to be yourself.

These are just some things to think about during your single journey. If you have any other helpful tips or anything to share, feel free to comment below!

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